so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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