Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
