8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Randomize
