Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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