her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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