i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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