that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
