I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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