it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
