i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Randomize
