I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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