These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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