But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
