Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
