ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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