he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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