Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
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