in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
