Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Alive.
So much puke
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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