my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
