What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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