OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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