I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Randomize
