he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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