I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
