i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Randomize
