did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
