I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
