One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Are we still banned from the library?
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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