are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
