so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
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I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
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hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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