You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
she told me i tasted like america
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
