I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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