I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
