Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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