Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
