yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
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