i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
that may or may not have been my penis.
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