Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
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