Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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