Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
