Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
