I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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