I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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