Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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