38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i love accidental penises.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
