is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Randomize
