Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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