Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Randomize
