Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
We are all done wearing pants today
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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