i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
