This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
