be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
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