I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
