Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
