i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Randomize
