I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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