I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
