I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
