She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
