is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
operation have a gay friend backfired
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
