either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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