Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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