According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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